Halloween...70s Style

It’s that time of year again. Trick or treat. I love Halloween. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. This year I added to my 70s TV on DVD collection a little known variety special from 1976: The Paul Lynde Halloween Special. Yes, you read that right. In 1976 Paul Lynde did a Halloween special for ABC. This was not the first special that Paul had done for ABC. And it wasn’t the last. As with most holiday themed specials from the 70s, this aired only once in 1976 and was never seen again. Until now.

The guest stars line up is…well…rather…odd. First you have our host Paul Lynde. Now I love Paul Lynde. He was fabulous on Hollywood Squares and in Bewitched. His prissy, sarcastic wit was something to see. However, on this special he kind of seems out of place. Anyway, the rest of the guests were (hold onto your seats for these), Tim Conway, Roz Kelly, Betty White, Margaret Hamilton, Billie Hayes (you know, Witchiepoo from Pufnstuf), Billy Barty, Donny and Marie and in their first Television appearance Kiss. Yes, Kiss. Paul Lynde and Kiss. Once I knew that, I just had to have this DVD. The fact that Kiss was on this show has made it somewhat of a collector’s item for Kiss fans. Part of the show has been pirated for years. In fact, one of their three performances on the show is included on Volume 1 of the Kissology DVD. However, until now their entire performance hasn’t been seen since this special originally aired. Anyway, enough about Kiss.

The show begins with Paul dressed as Santa and decorating a Christmas tree. Margaret Hamilton comes in and informs ‘Mr. Lynde’ (She plays his housekeeper) that it isn’t Christmas. At this point he tells her to ‘go dust something.’ Next he comes out dressed as the Easter Bunny singing Peter Cottontail and…anyway, long story short he finally realizes that it’s really Halloween. Opening credits roll. Interestingly enough, Roz Kelly is billed as Roz ‘Pinky Tuscadero’ Kelly. I guess she was still milking that one appearance on Happy Days.

After a short comedy monologue (I use the term ‘comedy’ lightly) there is the big opening production number. I don’t remember what the song was Paul…um…sang, but it wasn’t all that great. It tired to be funny, but really missed the mark. It ended with him being put in a trash can with the lid being placed on by Donny and Marie. This is the only time that we see them. I guess that is a blessing. The trashcan blows up and the shows cuts to commercial.

From this point on, the show tries to have somewhat of a story line. Albeit a bad one. Paul accompanies Margaret to her sister’s house to escape all of trick or treat nonsense in the city. Of course, the house is your typical spooky old house. Then we meet Margaret’s sister, the fabulous Billie Hayes in her Witchiepoo persona. Throughout the entire show it very obvious that Billie Hayes is just having a ball. For me she is the only real bright spot in this special. She truly gets into this character. As a side note, Billie’s make up seemed to be a bit off. It wasn’t the classic Witchiepoo make up that I’m more familiar with. That and her hat was grey instead of black. Anyway, Paul realizes that these two sisters are witches. Margaret Hamilton even appears in green make up and a pretty good rendition of her Wicked Witch of the West costume from The Wizard of Oz. Of course there are the obligatory Oz jokes. Margaret tires a couple of times to get her voice to sound like it did in 1939. The results are not that effective.

So, Betty White then appears as Miss Halloween 1976 and just as quickly as she appears, she vanishes never to be seen on this special again. So, because of his kindness to witches the sisters grant Paul three wishes. Paul’s first wish is to be a trucker. This part of the special is so bad that I can’t even describe it accurately. The one thing that stands out is that Paul wears a red wig, large red eyebrows and this ridiculous long red chest hair piece. The whole thing is just beyond silly. It’s at this point Roz Kelly and Tim Conway make their first appearances. No, it won’t be the last. We will see them again.

Paul’s second wish to be an Arab Sheik. Florence Henderson makes her first appearance and Tim Conway makes his second. This too is just pure silliness. By this time, I was getting pretty bored with the whole thing. Then Kiss comes on and sings Detroit Rock City. Of course it looks like they’re lip-syncing. It’s kind of hard to tell, but I’d lay money on the fact that they are. More silliness follows and Paul introduces Kiss again. This time they sing Beth. Finally Paul gives his final wish to the witches. They want to go to a Hollywood Disco. Well, this was 1976. No TV special would be complete without a Disco set.

Here’s where the show really just heads off into the ether. Just picture it. Paul Lynde, Margaret Hamilton, Billie Hayes, Roz Kelly, Tim Conway and Florence Henderson all trying to sing disco songs and dancing. It made my hair hurt. Well, that and Florence singing a really bad version of That Ole Black Magic. Then Kiss comes back for their final number. During this song there is not a doubt that they aren’t singing live. Paul Stanley even messes up the words. After this, the show thankfully comes to a close.

Now don’t get me wrong. I had a great time watching this last night, but it was really bad. It was bad in a good way. I think. It’s not any worse than, say, The Star Wars Holiday Special or just about any other 70s Holiday specials. It’s very, very 70s. There is no way around it. And I recommend it to any 70s fan. You’ll never see anything else like it.

One word of caution: the video quality on this DVD is not the best. Apparently the original master tape is lost. The DVD is the complete show and probably the only copy in existence. If I had to venture a guess as to the source, it’s probably from a back up VHS copy that someone involved in the production made and kept for all these years. The picture is kind of fuzzy. You can tell it’s a copy of the original tape. There are also some noticeable video and audio disturbances that they couldn’t eliminate. Oh well. At least the entire show was found. I’m really grateful to have it. I think I will add this to my yearly holiday viewing. Right along with the Donny and Marie Christmas Special, the Sonny and Cher Christmas Shows and the Captain and Tennille Christmas Show. Bring on more of this great kind of 70s kitsch.